Again,
I'm tired. It happens a lot, however this time it's not physical exhaustion.
I'm tired of being controlled. It seems that everytime I try to do something there's another ring to jump through. Maybe school is finally getting to me but I'm tired of all of it.
I turned in one of my last papers and did my final project today. It's really winding down now, but I still feel trapped.
I tried to have a rational conversation with my husband and instead it turned into a failed conversation. He's really defensive about something and I can't figure out what. It's making me result to emotional tactics. Something I am strongly against.
I don't have many moments to myself and I feel like I am losing even those. I still don't feel like I have control of my life. Mostly I believe it's my fault. I give into a lot of simple demands. I think I give up on my own time too easily. But I do it to help the people around me. It makes me feel selfish if someone asks me for something and I say no.
Like running. I used to run a lot, everyday at least. I gave that up because it was cutting into time I could spend with my husband. I used to run first thing in the morning, but I would have to wake up so early. I was falling alseep earlier and earlier and not getting to see my husband at all.
At this point I only wish I had a friend I could call and explain all this to. Someone who would help me analyze whats going on and help me find a solution.

Most worthless post evar!