The Constant Struggler

Ha HA!

I'm back.

A few days ago I had a dream in which I was the lead researcher for the Harley Davidson Institute of Neurotrama Research.

This does not exist.

Except in my head and on my whiteboard.

Today marks one week of me doing absolutely nothing at work. This is an exaggeration of course, but it feels that way. Going from working an understaffed ER to reading computer manuals is a bit of a change of pace. Considering that I finished reading them all last wednesday and we still have about a week of scheduled "study time" I've been doing various other things.

I think today I'll make a presentation about Diffusion of Innovation as discussed by Rogers.

It's applicable to the instigation of computerized charting at the hospital.

Besides, I've run out of internet...

It happened again. I hit my responsibility spiral and crashed out of control.

This one was interesting. I tried introducing some "color" to my clothing palette. This was a bad idea. There's a reason I need to keep things remarkably simple. If not I make them incredibly complex and it rapidly gets out of control.

I'm reading Running and Philosophy: A Marathon for the Mind there's a bit where Kevin Kinghorn writes about "Single Decision Makers" He likens them to Anscombe's intentional actions. Where you can give an explanation as to why we do them. I found this describes me a bit too well.

For example.

I decide to go running every morning (this month it's every other day.) That's the decision. Every subequent action that follows are intentional actions. I put out my shirt and shorts, find my shoes, set my alarm, make sure my phone is charged, and fill my water bottle before going to bed.

In contrast, there's another sort known as the constant struggler. My roommate for example. She's decided to exercise everyday, but where I decide to do it and go into autopilot. She makes a decision every step. What time of day should I exercise? What clothing should I wear?Depending on what exercises I'm going to do. Should I cardio first or second? Which muscle group today? How long should I wait after eating? What will I refuel with?

I don't choose what shorts or shirt to wear. I don't (typically) change my time of day. I don't "mix up" my routine (except monthly.) I've decided on something and that's how it is until the review period is over and I can re-evaluate.

I do things like this for a month. Review the data collected and see what I need to alter.

Here's the unfortunate bit that seems to have taken a while to get to. I decided to add color to my closet. Once I did this I couldn't get up and put clothes on. I had to make multiple decisions every time I wanted to get dressed. Would this underwear show through? Was it too hot for this shirt? Are these pants clean? What socks do you wear with this? AURGH!

It was very difficult.

I gave up yesterday.

I'm wearing scrubs and a white t-shirt.

Business casual is so overrated.

Things are simpler when you don't have to think about it.

This is one of the main reasons I'm a vegetarian. There's usually about one good thing per menu when I go out to eat. I don't have to decide if I feel like chicken or steak. I can always have pasta!

Carbivore out.